


(oh heaven) I wake with good intentions

by aHostileRainbow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe of an Alternate Universe, Angst and Drama, Dimension Travel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied Relationships, Love, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aHostileRainbow/pseuds/aHostileRainbow
Summary: Obi-Wan wakes before it's all gone wrong...and grieves.
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 101





	(oh heaven) I wake with good intentions

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Unexpected Awakening](https://archiveofourown.org/works/671597) by [Rhiw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhiw/pseuds/Rhiw). 



When Obi-Wan next awoke, familiar blue eyes watched him. Qui-Gon did not know quite what to make of the boy's reaction to consciousness. Without any change in breathing or even opening his eyes, Obi-Wan methodically tensed each major muscle group in search of injury, ears all but twitching for any threatening sounds, every inhale carefully held and broken down for recognizable scents. 

Why would a sheltered initiate's first response to waking under a Force inhibitor perfectly mimic his old master's? Dooku had been a solo agent and Sentinel for decades. Were he not so familiar with the signs, Qui-Gon would not have even recognized the boy's waking. 

Finally, Obi-Wan's eyes opened, glancing at him and away with palpable relief and unexpected sorrow. Qui-Gon prepared to question him, but suddenly the Force washed over him, heavy and insistent and the inquisition he had planned was not what came out of his mouth.

"Obi-Wan," it didn't even sound like him, Qui-Gon thought through the haze of Force presence that seemed to possess him. The voice was too deep, too hoarse, mournful as he had never sounded even in the face of terrible loss.

Obi-Wan startled, half-rising and turning toward Qui-Gon with wide eyes.

"Obi-Wan, dear one, I am sorry." Why was he crying?

"No," Obi-Wan hardly breathed it, "You're - you're not him."

"No," Qui-Gon's possessor, the Force itself, agreed, "To bring you here required effort. Sacrifice. He left just enough voice for this."

Obi-Wan's hand clutched at his chest again and Qui-Gon wanted to frown, the grief in the boy's face so detached from his reply.

"He's gone."

The voice was gentle, "He is here."

Obi-Wan's eyes drew to Qui-Gon's, soon dropping to his hands. 

"You have another chance, with another him. A better him, kinder yet and listening."

Obi-Wan's eyes slid shut. He was plainly processing the words, struggling through two shuddering breaths before he whispered, "I do not want a better him." Wet eyes shot to Qui-Gon's with apology he didn't understand. 

"I want _my_ Qui-Gon, no matter his faults. This one may be kinder, may be a better listener, but he is not the last words that haunted me or the last lesson a Jedi would ever teach me. Please." 

Obi-Wan's tears finally overflowed and Qui-Gon was lost, had been lost since Obi-Wan's collapse only now he realized - this loss was not temporary. His padawan as he had known him was lost to him.

Obi-Wan gasped, voice grasping for an acceptable end, " _Please_. Please give him back. Force, never have I asked you for anything so selfish, but please, don't make me go on without him. Not again."

"We cannot return a gift freely given, Little Sorrow," Qui-Gon's not-voice mourned. "All we can offer you is Light."

Abruptly, the Force shifted, expanding in rippling waves from Qui-Gon that he understood instinctively he should not be able to see. Yet he did, and so too did Obi-Wan, who choked, watching the waves crash upon one pinprick of light after another, washing through the entire Temple room by room until it seemed night may never come again in a place so bright with _life_. 

For that was the nature of each light the Force touched - it was the life force of every Jedi in the temple. If Qui-Gon was not mistaken, these waves of the Force were now expanding past the temple walls, blanketing the entire stretch of Coruscant.

It was like staring into a star. Every Jedi, every Force sensitive on the planet - Qui-Gon had to wonder what they were feeling in this moment. It felt to him as if they had all crowded into a single hall and bared their souls to the Force, offered up every bit of Light they had. 

All for Obi-Wan, whose mouth moved silently, tears dripping slowly down his face. Qui-Gon tried to focus, to make out what Obi-Wan was whispering in an endless litany.

Names. Familiar names, most. _Mace Windu, Plo Koon, Quinlan Vos, Bant Eerin, Siri Tachi, Micah Giett_ , the list went on and on, until Qui-Gon realized Obi-Wan had named every Jedi in residence. _Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon, Qui -_

Obi-Wan's awe and grief were subsumed by a desperate, clinging despair that Qui-Gon felt as an open wound in the Force. Obi-Wan's fingers clawed into the sheets, as the wail he had tried to release into the force escaped his mouth, a single, barely intelligent syllable, "Qui."

Obi-Wan gasped for air, or perhaps sanity, one tightly curled hand jerking up from the sheets as if to grasp for his last hope. 

"Qui, please, _please_. You should _be here_."

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Heaven" by Emeli Sandé.


End file.
